


They Don't Even Hunt in Packs

by LiterallyThePresident



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin's a nerd, Gen, Humans are so dumb, Mentions of Kit Fisto and Obi-Wan Kenobi and Padme Amidala, No romance though, huttese
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:08:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiterallyThePresident/pseuds/LiterallyThePresident
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ahsoka reflets on humanity and how miraculous it is that they are still around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	They Don't Even Hunt in Packs

     Ahsoka has decided that humans are like big dumb babies. This is not a spontaneous decision. She has been considering this for some time and has several reasons for her to have come to this conclusion.

     For instance, their complete lack of natural defenses. Like their teeth. Human teeth are so blunt, how are they supposed to bite into their prey? How can they intimidate enemies? Togruta teeth are sharp, perfect for hunting and self-defense. What do humans have to protect themselves? Their hard heads? Their charming personalities? A weapon if they're lucky? Although humans will use just about anything as a weapon. She once witnessed her master Anakin try to fight a man twice his size by repeatedly hitting him with an umbrella that he found. (That incident ended with Anakin running away screaming while the man chased him until Ahsoka and Obi-Wan came and rescued him.) He even escaped a prison once by _throwing a very surprised master Fisto at the guards_. So many times has she had to pull her stubborn, defenseless, human master out of a tricky situation that could have been avoided if he had some force-damned survival adaptions. Aside from his crazy good luck and weird escape tactics.

    Also, humans are practically helpless in the dark. They don't have montrals, they can't use echolocation, and their night vision is utterly nonexistent. They have to rely solely on their hearing to navigate the dark. One time she and Anakin were stuck in some underground catacombs after a cave in. Her master couldn't see anything and the walls distorted sound, he was as helpless as a newborn Ewok, stumbling blindly with his hands out in front of him and tripping over rocks. She'd had to take him by the arm and lead him out like a blind man. (He had been so embarrassed. Another weird thing, humans don't like needing help from others. Or maybe that's just an Anakin thing)

    Disease was another thing. Humans are so susceptible to disease. They can get sick from just about anything. Every other sophisticated species has at least a basic immune system that can destroy diseases pretty quickly, but apparently humans have terrible ineffective ones. They can get sick from rain. Rain! How does that even happen? And even non lethal illnesses can take a human out of commission for weeks. When Anakin took ill on a mission to Naboo, he couldn't even get out of bed. His shaking hands couldn't even hold a glass of water. He'd been so weak and vulnerable, seemed so tiny in that big hospital bed, drifting in and out of consciousness, murmuring in Huttese and occasionally saying something like "What d'you think tree bark is made of?" or "Hey Snips, I like your second head."

     Ahsoka had begun to realize then how vulnerable humans are, and the difference between their two species. Anakin had bounced back quickly enough, but the image of him lying pale and still haunted her for weeks after.

     And _by the Force_ the human obsession with martyrdom! Ahsoka often hears humans speak reverently of great heroes who gave their lives for some cause, who died in a "blaze of glory" or "went out with a bang." _Live fast, die young, and leave a good-looking corpse_ as Lux once said to her. Statistically speaking, humans sacrificed themselves for others in combat 41% more than any other species. Ahsoka had looked it up. It's no wonder human Jedi don't live as long as Jedi from species with actual survival instincts. How many times has Anakin hurled himself into a dangerous situation? How many times has master Kenobi volunteered for a possible suicide mission? Even senator Amidala has a habit of getting into trouble. Do humans have no self-preservation instincts at all?

     Honestly, how did they survive this long?

     "Kark!"

     Aaand Anakin appeared to have gotten the droid part he was holding stuck in his soft, threadlike, un-togruta hair (and what even is the function of that kind of hair? All wavy and fine with too many individual strands to count? It isn't to disorient predators, it isn't even brightly colored unless they use chemicals. What does it do?)

     "Snips, a little help?" He was tugging at it, she could see a few strands of hair coming free of his head. Didn't that hurt?

     "Snips! Assistance please! Ow, _karking_!" Ahsoka laughed. Anakin cursing in Huttese was always funny. Almost as funny as the time a frantic balosar had grabbed Anakin's shoulders and shook him yelling "Where are your antennaes!? _Where are they!?"_

 _"Echuta! Keepuna!_ Ahsoka, do something! Grab me my knife."

     Ahsoka rolled her eyes with a grin as she fetched the knife. Her master takes so much looking after.

     Typical human.

**Author's Note:**

> So I started thinking about what the other species in Star Wars thought of humanity and then this monstrosity was born. Also I have a thing for Anakin speaking Huttese.


End file.
